b"It won't last forever. It feels like it will, but it won't.ABOVE ALL ELSE: LOVE YOUR BABYAs a first time mum, I'm living the early weeks right now. My son Riley is 3 weeks and 1 day old. I feel so blessed to be Riley's mother. However, it is true when they say that it's challenging at times being a parent. What I've found to be the most challenging has been breastfeeding. For me it really has been a learnt skill and I never expected it to be so challenging. Feeding takes time and patience to perfect and, although not easy, is worth it.The other challenge I've had is learning that crying is how he communicates with me. It's tough hearing him upset and I often feel I don't respond fast enough. Even 10 seconds of crying is hard to hear, but it quickly becomes normal as he cries for all kinds of reasons: hungry, dirty nappy, having his nappy changed, changing clothes, or getting out of the bath. Learning that this is normal and doesn't reflect my mothering skills or responsiveness has been difficult and something I'm still adapting to.I believe one of the most important tools or gifts a new parent can have to adapt to parenthood is emotional support.For me that's been my husband, who is encouraging and supportive, and my sister who has been there and done it three times before. Our family has provided cooked food and my husband had 3 weeks off work. These practical things alongside the emotional support have been priceless.I would say: 1. Get your fourth trimester support plans in place: who can Image courtesy of A Woods help you, cook a meal, pop over and do a load of dishes? Who can you go to for a judgement-free conversation, someone who gets it? 2. If you're able to, consider antenatal expressing. This practice I'd just put her on and she wascan help your confidence. It may be useful to give your baby when born. They gave Riley 9 mL of my colostrum when he suckling away, and her eyes drifted upwas born.to my face. She started, like she hadn't 3. When people say enjoy every moment, ignore them. Just like realised I was there. I smiled at hernormal life this is totally unrealistic. There will be challenges. Find moments in every day you can enjoya smile, gazing and she seemed to gurgle happily. in your babys eyes, admiring their teeny tiny features or bonding during a feed, or watching your baby sleep.5. Listen to advice but only take what works for you and your One area where we had a lot of problems early on wasfamily. You're doing great, you've got this. Only you know you, when trying to decide what time we should go to bed. Shouldyour family and your baby.we wait until after Ben had had a late night feed and hope that we might then get a few hours uninterrupted sleep, or6. If all else fails, love your baby. This is all they really need.should we just put him down and hope that he didn't wake wanting to feed just as we had fallen asleep. It took us a fewFinally every day is so different. On Thursday I was up, weeks to finally reach the conclusion that at such a youngdressed and out of the house by 9:30 am attending a bowling age, Ben's feeding and sleeping patterns were too random towith babies session and had a very productive day. On Friday predict, so we just went to bed when we were tired and wereI didn't get out of the house until 4 pm. The day was taken up happy to get any amount of sleep before needing to care forby cuddles, feeding and sleeping!Ben. JustineSo my two main pieces of advice to new parents would beJUST GO WITH IT to read and learn as much as you can from reputable When I brought my first baby home from the hospital, I was sources before baby arrives very overwhelmed. I wasnt prepared for the seemingly constant feeds and sleepless nights. My baby did not wantany time, day or night, when baby is asleep or not needing to be put down to sleep and no one had told me that was you, is a good time for you to rest or sleep.Caring for a normal. It wasn't long before I decided to go with the flow and baby can be unbelievably exhausting, so you have to follow her lead. But I still felt guilty and like I was doing the make sure that you look after yourself, so that you can look wrong thing! When I had my second bub I was much more after that beautiful baby of yours! relaxed and did things her way from the start. It was much Deborah less stressful.10| Essence | Australian Breastfeeding Association December 2019"