b"The village raising mybreastfed childWORDS // MICHELLE KOVACEVICI t's 2:03 am and I feel like giving up. I feel depleted; my bodytone envelopes me like the hug I didnt realise I needed. She slumped in the soft camping chair weve brought into theasks if I have tried pumping. I have but not very successfully. corner of the bedroom to give me a comfortable placeShe asks where I live and we realise that she is a 20-minute to feed my newborn baby boy. But its not comfortable; nodrive from me. Of all of our breastfeeding counsellors around matter what chair I sit in, what pillows I use, what position I putAustralia who could have answered your phone call, you got him in. I want to scream, Get off me but all I can manage is athe one that was around the corner from your house, she muffled sob as my baby sucks and sucks, trying his darndestexclaims. We organise for my husband to pick up a hospital to get what he needs to stay alive. grade pump later that night. But its less about the pump and more about knowing that there is a virtual village of patient Unfortunately, my body is struggling to meet that need.women waiting for me to call anytime of the day or night so With the support of two fabulous midwives, Ive done all thethey can listen without judgment.right things to ensure we get a good start to breastfeedinga natural birth, lots of skin-to-skin, checked his latch, tried**different positions, fed every 2 hours, swapped breastsand yet the weight is falling off his tiny body. Its heartbreaking, andUnfortunately my baby is still losing weight and I need to at 2:03 that morning, it feels like I have no more left to give. Imake a decision to top up. My midwives present me with decide to get a little sleep and reassess when daylight breaks. two options: formula or donor breastmilk. Curious, I start to do a bit of research. I stumble across the World Health ** Organization/UNICEF Declaration of 1980 that states. Where it is not possible for the biological mother to breastfeed, the I stare bleary-eyed at the fridge door. An earlier version offirst alternative, if available, should be the use of human milk me, excited at the impending arrival of her firstborn, delicatelyfrom other sources. While it feels right to me, others around cut out a phone number printed in teal green and stuck it tome are not so sure. What if the mother has an illness and the fridge. Breastfeeding Helpline, it says: 24 hours. I call thethis passes through the milk? I hear. Sure, its a risk. But so is number and wait nervously for someone to answer. Hello,everything in life. I decide to choose trust over fear. welcome to the Australian Breastfeeding Associations 24-hour helpline, says a womans warm voice. This is Sharon. I type my first message to a potential donor mother cautiously. Dear Katie. I hate to ask but just wanted to check Before I know it both words and tears are pouring out of me.whether all your antenatal screenings were negative? And I tell Sharon about my expectations and the crushing realityare you a smoker/drinker/coffee drinker? She responds: Here that breastfeeding is so much harder than I assumed it wouldare my blood test results (so you can feel confident feeding be. I tell her I feel like giving up, that I can't do it. Her soothingmy milk to your baby). Shes a mum; she gets it. I grab an esky, fill it with ice bricks and drive over the Westgate Bridge 18| Essence | Australian Breastfeeding Association December 2019"