b'TALKING POINTThe performance began with Zari having her nightlyhaving enough milk, not being able to feed for long breastfeed. I wanted to stage this moment of privateenough. Those who were not able to breastfeed at intimacy between Zari and me because, in Westernall regretted romanticised moments of intimacy with culture, breastfeeding sits at an uneasy intersectiontheir children. For others, it brought back memories of between reminding us humans of our mammaliansleepless nights, painful nipples, cravings of milkshakes biology, a level of discomfort at watching women feed inas well as rare peaceful hours of reading or watching public and an intense social pressure to provide childrenfilms and falling asleep to wake in panic that the baby with the best start in life.had fallen from the bed. In Australia, breastfeeding is strongly encouragedFor me, the performance sparked a stronger by the medical establishment both for its benefits inawareness of the facilitating a bond between mother and child, as wellconstantly shifting as frequently, sometimes even aggressively, advocatednature of my exchange as the ideal source of nourishment and immunity forwith my daughter. As ZariThe audience roared newborns. grew older, she became more efficient atwith laughter in the In cultures outside Australia breastfeeding has abreastfeeding and more different cultural status and significance which variesdistractible by people,performances when throughout history. Take, for example, the current- objects or noises aroundZari kicked her feet day Chinese populations demand for baby formulaher. This impacted how and the black market that has developed around itswe chose to stage thewith pleasure and procurement. In France, the womans body has for somefeedthe level and time been considered the property of the husbandstate of lighting, whereexcitement during and so breastfeeding has been largely discouragedand how I could sit, how or considered animal, though in some regions thesemuch dinner she shouldthe breastfeed.attitudes are shifting in favour of recognising the healtheat before the show, benefits for the child.how long the feed would take and how that fitted Breastfeeding a baby in public is subject to a rangedramaturgically with the of different levels of acceptance depending on culturalrest of the performance. context, a nations religious conservatism, the site of the public space and its particular history as a place ofI felt a level of self-consciousness about how intimate masculine power. Parliamentary spaces and other siteseach breastfeed is, how much I tend to caress her of authority, for example, are slower to accommodatehair, kiss her head or how she tends to latch onto the women breastfeeding. Institutions such as schools andbreast with greedy abandon. The audience roared with universities may be considered tolerant and enlightenedlaughter in the performances when Zari kicked her feet spaces, yet still often encourage mothers to usewith pleasure and excitement during the breastfeed, as designated parents rooms.if she were paddling through a milky bath. Her energy and mood immediately after the feed was evident in her Dating back to the Ancient Greeks, Western philosophysmiles and desire to leap off my lap and chase after her has tried to neatly organisefavourite toys on the stage. the world according to hierarchical binaries.The performance that followed once Zari had left the For me, theThese are familiar tostage considered what kind of future may await a girl most of us for privilegingof the 21st century as the gendered effects of climate performanceand valuing the first termchange take stronger hold. Ecofeminists have shown over the second: man/ that the long history of comparing or describing women, sparked a strongerwoman, culture/nature,girls, colonised subjects, people with disabilities with awareness of themind/body, light/dark,animals and plants reveals shared attitudes about human/animal, rational/ the value, status and power of these human and shifting nature of myemotional, and so on. Sincenonhuman beings. Australian ecofeminist philosopher, the 1970s, ecofeministsVal Plumwood, shows where in history women and exchange with myhave worked to reveal howchildren have been described as having qualities of daughter. problematic these divisionstemperament, physiology and developmental attributes and oversimplificationsthat resemble particular animals and plants.have been for our culture and, particularly, for ourSimilarly, one of the many contradictions that leads understanding of andwomen to experience guilt around breastfeeding is the respect for nature. mythology that breastfeeding is a natural extension of the pregnancy rather than a complex, acquired skill and They have shown how what is called binary thinkinglabour performed by both mother and child. To address has led us humans to treat nature as if it is inferior, athis idea, half way through the performance I unpacked background, a mere resource for human consumptionmy breast pump and proceeded to pump milk into a and exploitation. It has obscured our capacity to seebottle. A concerned stage manager queried the safety how embedded we human animals are within naturesof having liquid on stage and the hygiene of producing systems and exchanges. By staging breastfeeding asand externalising bodily fluids on stageanother telling the opening image of Not Now, Not Ever I wanted to turninsight into how mothers milk is perceived.supposedly pure nature into culture, animal to art, to show how false or constructed the culture/nature binaryThe pumping of mothers milk on stage into is. measurable quantities encouraged reflection on how much human breastmilk is worth in Australian society. Watching other mothers breastfeed their babiesThe research of Australian economist Dr Julie Smith arouses in women a full range of emotions. Some womenargues that breastmilk should be counted as part of who viewed Not Now, Not Ever spoke to me about the guiltAustralias national GDP. What a country measures in they felt at not being able to breastfeed their babies, noteconomic terms shows what it values. Smith hasDecember 2019 A ustralian Breastfeeding Association | Essence |13'